|Adoption Perspectives Series|

Birthmom: When I met my son’s adoptive mom, I loved her energy. She made me feel at ease despite all the emotions I was feeling.

Adoptive Mom: When I met my son’s birthmom, I loved her big heart. The love she had for our son touched every word she spoke and influenced every decision she made.

Birthmom: When I met our son’s adoptive mom, I was afraid to share too much. Afraid to share how I was feeling.

Adoptive Mom: When I met our son’s birthmom, I was afraid to share too little–afraid I wouldn’t say the one thing that she needed to hear to choose me.

Birthmom: When I met my son’s adoptive mom, I loved her questions. I love how she talked to me and was open to me staying connected to our son through milestone updates, pictures, and birthday visits.

Adoptive Mom: When I met my son’s birthmom, I loved her sharing significance of the name she chose for our son; a name that she had chosen as a little girl for her future son–a name she loved and thought was so unique. I loved that she asked if we would keep the name and I loved that she was willing to let us make it his middle name.

Birthmom: When I met my son’s adoptive mom, I was afraid to tell her about my struggles with anxiety and depression. What if she judged me? What if she would think our baby would have the same struggles? What if she wouldn’t want our baby anymore?

Adoptive Mom: When I met my son’s birthmom, I was afraid to share my struggles with anxiety and depression. Our path to parenthood was a path of frustration, infertility, anxiety, and sadness. While I had taken so many strides in self care and healing, I still struggle. If I shared of my struggles, would she choose another mom? Would the agency even allow me to adopt?

Birthmom: When I met my son’s adoptive mom, I loved that she talked first and let me stay silent as I found my words. She shared her reasons for wanting to adopt. She shared how she met her partner and their story as a couple and their struggles with infertility. She talked about her job and what she liked to do for fun. She told us about their dog and all the things she wanted to do with our son.

Adoptive Mom: When I met my son’s birthmom, I loved that she shared why she was choosing adoption for her baby. I loved what she shared about her childhood and her dreams for our son.

Birthmom: When I met my son’s adoptive mom, I was afraid to admit I wasn’t sure if I could choose adoption. I loved our son so much and I was struggling with what to do.

Adoptive Mom: When I met my son’s birthmom, I was afraid she would change her mind about adoption. Having not yet met our son, I already felt a connection to him. I loved him.

Birthmom: When I met my son’s adoptive mom, I felt connected to her. I felt like I knew her. Her wishes for our son were mine. And we both loved our son.

Adoptive Mom: When I met my son’s birthmom, I felt connected to her. I felt like I knew her. Her struggles were mine. And we both loved our son.

Moms:

We love our son and are connected to each other by that love.

Written by: Liz Cairns Callen